


domesticated animals

by second lancaster (neenlancaster)



Series: lost and found [2]
Category: Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Herbert West centric, Herbert West is in love, M/M, also daniel cain listens to animals by talking heads on loop and herbert is just used to it by now, brief mention of substance abuse, i wrote this while listening to feral music and you can tell, im sorry i like her but like; she IS dead, meg is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neenlancaster/pseuds/second%20lancaster
Summary: Herbert West thinks he could get used to Dan, and reflects on how they got there. A small part of him feels guilty, but the other is glad to have Dan close to him. He isn't sure he could go back to who he was before.
Relationships: Daniel Cain/Herbert West
Series: lost and found [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985252
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	domesticated animals

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! I wanted to thank everyone that commented on my previous fic with them, it really gave me the courage to write this one. You are all lovely people, really. I meant to write this sooner but my attention span was all over the place for a few days and I couldn't do it, then my mouse broke, so you know, kinda halted my creative process here lol. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this!!
> 
> This work can be read separately, I suppose, but in my opinion it's more fun if you read the first part before.
> 
> If you need any warning put on the tags, please hit me up!

One of the things Herbert learned while living with Dan was that feelings very rarely made sense, or followed rules. It was very different to science, and that bothered Herbert. It wasn’t a coincidence that he tended to push others away. It would be better for both of them, in the end. West worked best by himself. It certainly didn’t help that everyone he cared about, or that cared about him, met a horrible end. He simply was better alone. Until he wasn’t.

  
The way Dan looked at him at first, a mix of curiosity and devoid of the disgust others seemed to have, made something sting. It was, perhaps, the first time he ached to be understood. He felt lonely. Dan was so… sweet. He genuinely cared about people, even when they were unspeakably rude to him.

A small part of Herbert felt sorry for the man, knowing that his presence in Dan’s life was akin to poison, corruption. There was nothing sweet about West.

  
Still, he liked Dan. He liked to see him smile, and liked to know he had someone that wouldn’t, couldn’t, leave him. Truth was, Herbert had always tried to maintain control over his life. Dan was an unexpected variable, or better, caring about him was.

  
The possibility of being alone after having met Dan, after seeing how he needed him in his life, scared him. He couldn’t be alone again. Dan had ruined his perfect silence with his laughter and commentary, now a silent house was an empty space devoid of peace, devoid of humanity. He wasn’t sure either of them would be better off alone, not anymore.  
He wasn’t sure if Dan knew that about him. If Dan saw how much Herbert actually cared. When Dan tried to leave, the one time he actually packed his bags and started the car, Herbert felt the closest he ever had to heart-brokenness. He starred, eyes stinging from the tears he held back. How could he? How could Dan betray him like this? More importantly, why did it hurt so much?

  
A small part of him wanted to kill Dan in that moment. Revive him later, keep him in any way he could. But he couldn’t, because Dan was staring at the steering wheel with such fear, such terror, that West knew even a fraction of that directed at him would make his heart stop.

  
At first, Herbert couldn’t move, and control seemed to only return as Dan turned the engine off. He couldn’t look the other in the eye for the rest of the day.  
Even with the grief Dan felt, Herbert wasn’t particularly sorry about Meg. All remorse he felt was second handed, a result of his concern over Dan’s health. He didn’t like Meg all that much. Jealousy, not that he would ever admit it.

  
In a way, he also hated how common she was. How, with her, Dan was ordinary. Herbert knew that inside Dan, a small part of him, liked what they did. With Meg, that desire and facet would never have it’s chance to flourish.

  
He didn’t see himself as the one to blame for how Dan acted now. No one could become something they never were a little in the first place. Dan’s panic attacks had gotten less intense, but he still refused to help Herbert choose bodies. That was okay, West was a very patient man. Besides, he had no want for Dan to change himself, he just wanted the other to stop feeling so conflicted.

  
After all, he wanted them to be together, without the constant push-and-pull and arguments. Though he admitted he sometimes went too far. Pushed Dan just enough to see anger rise up in his eyes. It felt good to know Dan wasn’t as fragile as he made himself out to be. Herbert liked to see glimpses of the things Dan suppressed, his anger, his fascination, his desire. A crack in the good doctor’s mask of non-threatening smiles.

  
On the other hand, Herbert liked hugging Dan, too. He liked the non-threatening smiles. Cain was warm, and it made Herbert happy to be able to comfort him whenever he had nightmares. It stung to think most of those nightmares were his fault, anyway, so it felt like repairing a bit of the pain. An unspoken apology for dragging Cain into his world, making him see more death than he probably would otherwise. He knew Dan didn’t deal well with death. It was a compromise.

  
Besides, West had his own part of the bargain, in a way. He stopped injecting himself after Dan asked him to. It took time, and effort, but ultimately he did it. It was better for his health, probably. He didn’t care much about himself, but Dan did, so he tried to be less self-destructive. Tried to tame himself, meet Dan half-way. They both changed for the other, in small ways, to fit in. It was a bit agonising for Herbert to watch Dan go back to old habits, or to deny the fact that he wasn’t the person he used to be. Herbert hated to see him struggling to go back to conformity.

  
It probably came from the fact that he never truly conformed. He knew he wasn’t like other kids from the start, and no matter what he did, people would always know he was different. So he stopped trying. After that, seeing other people’s strange or uncommon traits didn’t bother him as much, what did bother him was people that desperately tried to keep up the facade. Like Dan. How he wanted Dan to let go, for once, and enjoy himself as he was. Herbert knew Cain hid pretty well, but, going back to their first meeting, there was something else behind his eyes. Something that ached to be left out. Herbert just put it into motion.

  
Herbert went up the stairs to the living room. It was around 1 am and Dan was asleep on their couch, a movie playing on TV. West recognised it as Stop Making Sense. He didn’t fully understand why Dan liked the show so much and rewatched that many times, but it seemed to cheer him up, so Herbert didn’t mind. He grabbed a cover from the coffee table and put it around Dan’s shoulders. Cain looked so peaceful like that, so calm. Despite himself, Herbert kissed his temple lightly, careful to not wake him up and went back to his experiments.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and have a happy Halloween!! The title comes from Domesticated Animals by Queens of the Stone Age because the whole cathartic motif really vibed with me while listening to the song.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments help me a lot with feedback and encouragement, see you next time!


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